


The Right Way To Be A Superhero

by NobodyOfficial



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Body Positivity, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, chubby Ted Kord, who gives some goood advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-07 03:51:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14072292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NobodyOfficial/pseuds/NobodyOfficial
Summary: Anon: tbh I could totally see ted intentionally gaining weight as big ‘FUCK U’ to the people who say you can’t be fat and a superhero at the same timeMe: obviously this requires a quick fic about Ted spreading some body posi and teaching people that he's still a kickass superhero no matter what.So here's Ted teaching a little kid what it means to be a superhero.





	The Right Way To Be A Superhero

**Author's Note:**

> Very dialogue heavy, apologies, but I bashed this out in, like, an hour.

Apparently Ted Kord was an utterly useless, expendable, unnecessary member of Justice League. That's what Batman has said. Well, actually he'd said something more along the lines of, "I need two friendly, charismatic members to go into the local elementary school and talk about what we do here at the League. I suggest Booster and Ted." But that's how Ted had interpreted it. At least if he was useless he got to be useless with Booster.

However now Booster had wandered off to drop by some classrooms uninvited before they had to give an assembly (or something kids were equally disinterested in) and Ted found himself alone in an empty corridor. He hadn't despised elementary school as ferociously as he had high school, but the work had been boring and bullies had had their pick of things to tease him about. Altogether he wasn't thrilled to be back.

The rustle of a coat caught Ted's eye and thought it was almost certainly nothing he sauntered over to investigate, lifting his goggles onto his head. Upon closer examination the coat was also snuffling softly, and had feet. Ted poked it gently. "Umm... Hey sad coat, wanna come out?"

"No," the coat huffed.

"Shouldn't you be in class?" Ted tried. "I can't see your hall pass."

"Why would I go to class for a stupid superhero day?" There was some rummaging behind the coat and a young boy emerged from beneath it. His chubby cheeks were stained with tears. "No offence."

"None taken, achi. Cool jewfro." Ted sat down beside him and patted the boy's thick mass of curls.

"Whatever," the boy grumbled, aggressively wiping his tears away. "Are you gonna go give your speech now? Or should I relocate my crying to the bathroom like some sort of dumb cliché?"

Ted forced himself to not point out that crying in the cloakroom was already kind-of clichéd. Instead he strained to read a label on the boy's coat. "Are you Michael?" He asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"I know a Michael," Ted said fondly. It wasn't often that he called Booster by his given name, but once in a while he took great pleasure in it, sometimes throwing 'Mikey' around too.

"I know a lot of Michaels, what's your point?" Michael scowled.

Ted wanted to chastise him for his short temper but he remembered ten being a touchy age. "What's the dealio, Michael my good man? Why are you so grumpy?"

"It's just, ugh." He scuffed a sneaker across the floor, which his toes could barely reach. "I don't want a stupid superhero day. Not like I'm ever going to be a superhero. Don't have any cool powers or anything." He paused to knock a reading book off the bench. "If I did I wouldn't be here."

"You don't need powers to be a superhero. I don't have any and I'm doing alright," Ted informed him. There were times when he'd thought having some kind of superhuman ability would've been useful, but generally Ted prided himself on getting by on intellect and skill alone.

"Yeah? And I'm fat. I'm never going to be super-anything, except super-obese." Michael shrugged, keeping up his act of nonchalance as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. "At least, that's what the other kids say to me. They're probably right, I dunno."

"What?" Ted exclaimed in outrage. "What?" There was only one other word in his head at that moment and it wasn't appropriate to say in front of a ten-year-old. "That is absolutely not ok, I will go and, and-" he took a deep breath, "Talk to them sternly, because they're little kids and I don't hurt little kids." He glanced Michael over when he was certain his attention was fixed in the floor. Michael was the quintessential elementary schooler: big eyes, light freckles, messy hair. As far as Ted was concerned all ten-year-olds were meant to be chubby; they had a lot of growing to do, why shouldn't they be?

"Hey Michael, I want you to look at me and tell me I'm not a superhero," Ted said firmly.

Michael rubbed his eyes and glanced up at him. "But you are one," he said.

"Exactly!" Ted beamed. "And what else am I?"

Michael wrinkled his nose and squinted at him. "Jewish?"

"Oh, yeah, I guess, but I was going for fat." Ted sat up a little straighter, even though lycra already made his stomach incredibly prominent.

"I knew that, but that's mean, I can't say that to you," Michael said.

"It's really not." Ted ran a hand across his stomach. He'd spent far too much time in college doing nothing but poking and bruising his stomach, being gentle was so much better. "There's nothing wrong with being fat. There's nothing wrong with being fat and a superhero. Except for this parasite called Guy Gardner that seems to think you want its opinion and-" Oops. "I may have just outed the current Green Lantern to you, just hush about that, ok?"

Michael's eyes were wide with awe. "Definitely. Wow."

"Right, my actual point: you can totally be a chubby superhero if you want to be. Works for me."

"Sure." Michael was back to rolling his eyes again and Ted couldn't understand why. "You're chubby right now but your weight fluctuates, like, all the time. I read all the superhero magazines, I know. So in a few weeks you're just going to be jacked again, because being fat just doesn't quite cut it when you're crime fighting."

Ted sighed; wrung his hands. Smiled. "I know, I'm sorry about that. I used to think I was doing my best work when I was in the best physical shape possible, but I realise now that I really wasn't. It was just making me tired and hurting my mental health. Being chubby doesn't exactly help with the physical stuff, but it doesn't cause me any problems. And it's definitely better for me mentally. So I won't be doing that from now on." He nudged Michael gently. "And now I know there are kickass kids like you out there who need someone on their side against the bullies. I'll gladly be your guy."

"You're cooler than I thought, Mr Beetle," Michael smiled. Ted was both offended and proud.

"So, these magazines you read, what do they say about me?" Ted smirked.

"That you're dating Booster Gold. Is that true?" There was excitement laced with a hint of fear in Michael's eyes that told Ted he would've said 'yes' whether he was or not.

"Maybe," he hummed with a wink.

Michael gasped and leaned in close to whisper, "Then I think he might be cheating on you... With Ted Kord! The business guy!"

Ted resisted the urge to burst out laughing. He enjoyed the thought of being both Booster's long term boyfriend and his side hoe. "Oh Michael, I wouldn't worry about Ted Kord." It was obvious that Michael was a huge superhero nerd, he shouldn't be spending this day in the cloakroom. "Want me to walk you back to the classroom?"

"Not really," Michael scowled. "I don't even have a costume and if I did I'd look silly."

Ted tipped his goggles back onto his face. He was the king of looking silly. "You mean like this? I love looking silly."

"He does!" Ted looked up and found Booster standing in front of them. "Kiddo I wouldn't hang round with this guy, he's going to try and teach you math and stuff. Now me, I can teach you how to embezzle-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence," Ted sighed. Booster sat down beside him, absently stroking a hand down his back.

"How'd you get a boyfriend?" Michael asked, watching Booster's soft caresses of Ted's side. "I thought fat people weren't allowed boyfriends."

"What-" Booster exploded but Ted grabbed his arm and steadied him.

"It's ok, he's not being mean, that's just what we're talking about," he informed him.

"Ah, sorry little dude," Booster said. "Then allow me." He clapped a hand on Ted's shoulder. "Beetle here is the world's biggest dork who doesn't know how to tidy his room or cook a pot noodle. He's also really sweet and really funny and worked really hard to help me fit in in the twentieth century. I like spending time with him, we enjoy the same stuff. He has pretty eyes. I like his hair. And he's really heckin' soft and I love that. Don't let any stupid children tell you relationships have anything to do with weight, because they don't." He cuddled Ted against his chest. "You're really chubby."

"Shut up." Ted tilted his head back, allowing Booster to kiss him on the forehead.

"I love you."

Michael's captivated side-eye said 'I could totally write an article about this'.

"Alright, this was fun but we've got to go," Booster said, helping Ted up without even realising he was doing it. "Are you ok, kid?"

"Better now," Michael smiled. He started back towards his classroom but Ted stopped him. He crouched down to Michael's height.

"Good at keeping secrets?" He whispered. Michael nodded earnestly. Ted pulled off his goggles and mask and pressed them into Michael's hands. "Here's your costume."

Michael looked like he was frozen in time. He couldn't even blink or stutter out a sentence. Ted felt incredibly self-satisfied. Eventually he gasped, "Y-y-you're, you're, you're Ted Kord! Wow! This is the best day of my- wow! Thank you!" He hugged Ted aggressively.

"As well as making you a totally badass hero being chubby also makes you great at hugging," Ted murmured softly.

"You're my second favourite superhero ever!" Michael exclaimed. "Sorry, there's just no beating Wonder Woman."

"I completely understand," Ted chuckled. "Now, I don't have anything cool like the Bat Signal if you ever want to chat, but Booster looks himself up online nearly every day so if you tag a post with his name on it it'll get to me." Booster didn't even try to deny it.

"Thanks," Michael laughed. "You're the best, Mr Kord. I can't wait to be as confident as you some day."

Ted glowed. That was the most prestigious compliment he'd ever received in his life. "You're a cool kid, Michael. Don't let anyone push you around, you're perfect."

Michael pulled the mask over his face and grinned, giving the two a thumbs up, then disappeared into the classroom. "He wears it better than you," Booster said thoughtfully.

"Speaking of, I need to borrow your visor. I am very much exposed right now, and you don't have a real identity to protect." Booster slipped his visor off and settled it over Ted's eyes.

"Cute." He grinned. They started to walk down the corridor. "That was really sweet, what you did for that kid."

"I want some candy floss," Ted said thoughtfully.

"That's really all you got from that conversation?"

"Yes. And also, I think we should have kids." He added a sincere nod for emphasis.

Booster paled. "No, no, go back to candy floss. That's ok. You want candy floss? We can get candy floss."

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." Ted wanted kids one day but that wasn't an issue; he knew Booster did too. It was just that at the moment they were both wrapped up in their own lives, with the League and Ted's company.

Booster put an arm around him and kissed his cheek. "You're going to be the best dad. Our kids are going to be massive math dorks, but they're going to be incredible."

"You're not allowed to teach them how to launder money though," Ted said, cuddling into Booster's side.

"I guess that's fair," he smiled. "Dork."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! My tumblr' everyonewholovesmehasdied and it's not very DCU heavy but you can come talk about Boostle or anything, I'm always willing!


End file.
